The One That Got Away
by MemoriesRemain
Summary: He was 22 and no one was there to ask how he felt. If someone asked how he was doing then he probably had no answer so it was good having no one there to ask.  Was he 22 or twelve? Was he this small child again who lost his parents?  NaruSasu
1. I'll Never be the Same

The 23rd of July. It was his birthday and the day he lost everything he had. Again. His parents got murdered when he was a small child. His brother died in a car accident when he was twelve. Now he was 22 and nothing changed. It was a short and sad story. So sad that someone could wonder if one human being could be able to stand so much loneliness. So much sadness and solitude.

He was 22 and everything, even one year after it happened, moved in slow motion. He was breathing slowly, moving slowly, not trying to even think about moving faster than he actually could. To him it was like this.

He was 22 and no one was there to ask how he felt. If someone asked how he was doing then he probably had no answer so it was good having no one there to ask.

Was he 22 or twelve? Was he this small child again who lost his parents? Who was he? He didn't know.

"Time of death, 10.18 am."

The raven ran. Ran as fast as he could to be there in time. Sai was waiting for him. Impatiently the whole morning to be the first one to embrace him. Embrace him on the day of his 21st year of age. He was the one to bring him back to life. Sai saved him from drowning. Saved Sasuke from being an empty shell only waiting for the time to join his dead family. He filled him with life again. Sai resembled him in almost every way. He had no family as well but he seemed to handle it way better than Sasuke did. Perhaps because he grew up without family. Without anything to hold onto. Only his brother he got to know in the orphanage was still there and visited him from time to time. He was Sai's life until he met Sasuke. Then both of him were everything he had. Two men loving him unconditionally in two completely different ways. He loved them as well. Loved.

The young Uchiha arrived at the Konoha Hospital. 10.15 am. He was looking forward to his birthday every year for the last 5 years now because he spent every single one with his boyfriend. He ran down the corridor of the hospital, risking that some nurses scream after him not to run in a hospital but screaming wasn't allowed either, right?

He chuckled, almost laughed in anticipation of seeing him in some minutes. Still thinking about how he would hug him. If he walked to Sai slowly, smiling like he always did or simply jumping at him and squeezing him until he almost suffocated. He couldn't decide.

If the curtains were not closed Sasuke was able to look into every hospital room. Seeing people reading books, being visited by their family or just sleeping.

His curtains were not closed as well. Two minutes passed and Sasuke arrived at the room. Looked through the thin and small window. He wondered if it was the right room. His eyes open wide to catch every detail of the things happening. Of the things that were actually going on.

10.17 am.

One minute. One minute seemed like an eternity to him in this moment. Awareness became panic became desperation became the need to help. But how? There were nurses everywhere. Several doctors surrounding him. The only noise to be heard was a shrill peep.

10.18 am.

"I'm sorry, Uchiha-san. I really wish we could have done more. But this day was to be expected. Sai-kun was here for more than seven years now and..."

The young man looked at the Doctor in front of him. Not even hearing a word he said. This day was to be expected. He cared for him for more than five years now. A heart disease. Beyond recovery. A lifespan of 10 years after getting to know about it. 10 years, not seven. Sasuke thought he had another three years left with him. He hoped Sai might even recover but this was reality. Sai died and he was with him the last minute he still breathed on his own.

Sasuke turned around, walked down the corridor of the hospital in slow motion. At least to him it seemed like it. Nothing left to lose and nothing more to gain. What went wrong with him to deserve this? Wasn't he supposed to be born? Was God so angry at him that he decided to make him suffer all his life? What did he do wrong?

He left the hospital with no place he could or would want to go to. He felt good again. Nine years after losing his brother he finally felt good again and now? Right. How would it go on for him?

Walking down the streets full of people, full of life the pale man who turned into this small child, this twelve year old boy again thought about how he got to know the love of his life. This life, this love he lost again. He didn't discern any of the noises and voices around him. Small children that were crying, laughing, talking to their mothers. Adolescents walking in groups, coming from school and being on their way home. Everyone seemed to breathe so fast, loudly and well, they breathed. Sai didn't. He took his last breath. Sasuke took a deep breath, as deep as he could and when he did he couldn't help but smiling. Not to wide. Just a smile, a barely noticeable smile.

It was 4 years after his brother's sudden death, Sai spent 2 years in the hospital already and Sasuke was tired. He was so tired and couldn't sleep. All these nightmares and imaginable ways his brother might have died, his parents were murdered stole him his sleep. The only precious thing he had left because in his dreams he usually was able to escape reality. Everything that was hurting him had been cut out in his dreams. He dreamt of the happy days when he came home from primary school, greeting his mother by hugging her tightly and telling her how great his day was. His mother would only smile like she always did and cook Sasuke's favourite food. It smelled of rice, some meat and the most important, it smelled of tomatoes. His absolute favourite food.

After eating he would spent his day with his big brother. Play with him hide and seek or practice for school. It was dark outside already and his father came back from work. Sasuke would spent the rest of the evening with his family watching TV or just having fun with them.

But suddenly his dream, his happy dream turned into this nightmare. Sasuke came back from school again. He wanted to hug his mother as he always did but she hadn't been in the kitchen. The small boy with big innocent eyes walked down the corridor that seemed so big and dark. He entered the livingroom and couldn't believe what he actually saw.

His parents were lying on the ground. Shot. Two shots. One in his mother's head and the other one in his father's head and everytime he dreamt they died in a different way. The last was for example being cut into pieces, their faces barely to be recognized.

Evertime he dreamt this kind of dreams he woke up screaming and sweating. Until he was twelve his big brother was there to comfort him but after his accident not even Itachi was there anymore. Now when he woke up from his nightmares Sasuke would only scream "Nii-san".

This was the reason he took all these pills. He just wanted to sleep and escape reality. He was 16 and finally took the decision to sleep. But God seriously seemed to hate him. Usually no one came to visit him. No one even showed one tiny bit of interest. But on this day a woman from the youth welfare office came to see how Sasuke was living, how he was doing because he was still underage. She rang the doorbell and no one opened the door. She got help and they found him, lying on the bed, barely breathing.

The raven was brought to the Konoha Hospital. The Doctors had to pump his stomach and he survived. He woke up again one or two days later and noticed that he wasn't sleeping. This time they stole his sleep and not his dreams. Sasuke looked around the white and cold room, thinking he was alone but he wasn't. He heard a voice. A deep voice and it sounded so good. It almost resembled his brother's voice.

"Hey there. You sure look like shit. What did you do to end up here?"

A pale boy even paler than Sasuke looked at him with a smile he lost so long ago but even this smile showed some loneliness.


	2. Can I start again?

Was he mute? Probably deaf? Or both? He was lying in this bed for five whole days now without even looking at him. The pale boy looked at the raven who did nothing more than staring at the ceiling since he woke up. He remembered the first and only look Sasuke gave him after he opened his eyes in the big and cold hospital room.

There was nothing. A short gleam of hope which directly turned into a sight of hopelessness, loneliness, emptiness. The will to die. Sai didn't know what to do. Somehow he had to make him talk, right? There must have been a chance to lure at least one word out of the Uchiha's mouth. But all of his attempts were worth nothing. He just didn't talk.

Two weeks. Sai's brother came by two days ago and the 16 year old boy still didn't open his mouth. Slowly Sai really started to worry about Sasuke. He got to know his name from one of the nurses and everytime Sai called his name the raven covered his ears, curled up in his blanket and Sai swore that he saw him trembling once. But he had enough of this. He gave up trying. He really thought that there was no use trying anymore because he couldn't break this thick wall of ice.

More weeks passed. Sai sat on his bed and drew. Something he did almost every day. When he felt bad he couldn't draw because then his hands and his whole body would tremble and shake like hell. The raven still didn't open his mouth. It really started to feel as if he was mute. When nurses or doctors talked to him he mostly nodded or shook his head, meaning that only Yes or No questions had been asked and this was annoying Sai to the core. It sounded like those people were talking to themselves if he didn't look at them to see if Sasuke really was lying on his bed to give them an answer.

But something was different today. The doctors just left the room after their medical round and Sasuke sighed. Sai almost startled at this unfamiliar noise the Uchiha made. He looked at Sasuke who was staring at the ceiling again.

"I'm tired." It was just a faint whisper but he talked! He really talked.

"W-... What?" Sai was too baffled, way too surprised to form a complete sentence now. He never heard his voice before. Never saw his lips move. He wasn't mute. He was able to talk and he didn't know why but Sai was glad that he could talk.

"I said I'm tired." The youngest Uchiha looked at Sai. His eyes still empty and the lack of color was almost indescribable.

Sai was shocked. He didn't know that someone could look so sad, lonely and hopeless at the same time. He didn't know what to say. "Well then... you should try to sleep more, I guess?"

A brief smile and he just looked at the ceiling again. "Just try to sleep more. Yeah." He whispered and closed his eyes. "I tried to sleep but they all wouldn't let me. No one let me sleep though I tried to. I wanted to sleep so bad. Why did they... find me?"

The pale, almost white skinned boy stared at him in confusion. He sat up. "Find you? What do you mean?"

Did he really want to hear his answer? He had the feeling that he wouldn't like it. He knew it would shock, at least scare the shit out of him.

Sasuke's eyes were literally locked onto that ceiling but he couldn't help it. Why did he feel like this? Why did this weird guy talk to him and he felt like crying the whole time?

Probably because he was the only one who ever asked him anything at all. Who seriously showed some interest. Big, hot tears started to pour down his ghost-like skin and he didn't dare to look at Sai. He felt like suffocating and as if he wasn't even able to say a single word.

"I'm... I'm a mess. I just wanted to sleep! Those pills helped and..." He couldn't talk. It hurt. His throat, his whole body was aching but it felt so good that someone finally showed some interest. Someone asked him at least something.

Sai swallowed. He looked at him carefully and talked quietly, being afraid that talking too loud could make him mute again.

"You tried to commit suicide." Sasuke just nodded. It was no Yes or No question but a statement he could answer with Yes.

Sai didn't know what drove him to do this but he stood up though he wasn't allowed to. It was hard for him to stand up let alone walk but it was just a small way to Sasuke's bed. He sat down next to him, made him sit up and took him into a gentle and warm embrace.

Sasuke sat there with wide eyes. He didn't know what was going on. No one ever showed as much interest as him in those four years his brother passed away now. No one ever came as close as he did. Why? Why now? Why after his attempt to leave this planet? Sasuke couldn't understand.

But the first time in four years he felt warm and comfortable again. He felt like he came back home and embraced his mother after coming back from school. Several seconds later the room was filled with loud sobs and screams out of desperation.

The raven trusted someone he never met before. Someone he didn't know and someone he probably wouldn't ever meet again if he left the hospital. Why did it feel so right to let it all out in his arms?

Sasuke didn't know anything at this moment but no one even dared to think about the fact that those two would share such a deep and strong bond one day and that this strong bond full of love could be destroyed in such a short time.

They shared everything in those five years. They told everything about each other. Why Sai came into the hospital and what happened before they met. The reason Sasuke did end up in this hospital and how he planned to go on in the future. So many questions had been asked. Most of them were answered and some of them couldn't be answered. But they fell in love with each other. They loved each other unconditionally and those five years passed way too fast. The blink of an eye and Sai was gone.

Several days passed since his 21st birthday. He was sitting in front of the TV watching videos and photos they made on the few days they could spend outside and not in the hospital. So much laughter, so many smiles, the amount of love couldn't be described.

The videos and photos found an end and Sasuke started them all over again. Beginning with his own personal hell.


End file.
